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By: Jamie Collins
Greetings, Paralegal Nation! Have you ever mentally pondered quitting your day job? Walking away from the esquire and papyrus driven insanity? Waving bah-bye to those peeps and things that have you filling out that application to the asylum? Show of hands: At least one time in your career…per month…per week…I mean, day…uh, how about per hour? Every other minute? If so, I wrote this one for you. Enjoy! (We’ll be asking you to join our support group in the form of an internet rally cry, nationwide, at the end of today’s post. All you have to do is: Hit. The. Button. It’s that simple, people.)
On to the post…
1,247.
The number of times I’ve mentally pondered standing up, pushing myself away from my wooden desk, walking out of those law firm doors, and quitting my gig as a paralegal. (Oh, who am I kidding? That number is light.) I’m sure it was far more times than that over the past 2 decades in the legal trenches. Just last week, I wanted to quit twice in the same day. It’s entirely normal, I assure you. Yet, here I sit—a paralegal.
As a newbie paralegal and even a seasoned “lifer,” there are many, many things that will make a paralegal person, such as you, ponder quitting her day job. The short list looks a little something like this:
- Your boss is too demanding;
- Your boss has impossible expectations;
- Your boss is less than friendly some days, even abrupt, semi-rude, or rude as hell on others;
- The firm is unorganized and/or chaotic;
- There is inadequate money, training, help, or resources available to you;
- There is far too much work; and/or
- There is way, way, way too much stress associated with the job.
In the early years of my career, I experienced every one of these. It depended what day of the week it was as to what the pressing problem was, but I lived through every one of them. I lacked confidence and skills for a while as a newbie paralegal, as we all do in the beginning. We find ourselves cloaked in uncertainty, feeling like a hot mess of confused action, standing in the midst of the gauntlet of legal hell, attempting to “suit up” for the career race. (I take my suits black and designer these days.)
So why in the heck do we stay? That’s a great question.
Truth is, I wanted the career. I wanted money. I wanted prestige. I wanted more, so much more. And so I stayed at my desk every single time I wanted to get up and walk away. I never kicked the heels off. I never ran out the doors, tempting as it was. I stayed. Every single time I wanted to quit—I stayed. Because I had a lot to learn. Because I had much to attain by way of personal growth and professional accomplishment. Because I wanted more for myself and a better life. I wanted to do work I could be proud of that would give me a sense of empowerment and purpose. I wanted to prove I could do all of those things that seemed to elude me so easily in the beginning. I had something to prove—to myself, more than anyone else. I was on a one-way road to destiny, and whether that road was paved with Cadbury bars or barren as hell, covered in gravel and half grown over with me walking it barefoot and half-crazed, I was going to make the journey. Yep, the whole way. (Cheap polyester suits and all.) Even when nobody was holding poster boards and cheering on the sidelines for those of us passing by in the parade for potential. (It was more like irritated looks and angry whispers.)
I am not a quitter. I may have pondered it at least 1,247 times—but a quitter, I am not.
I write this post today to share the realities of the job. To let you know if you find yourself wanting to quit for any of the reasons above, or a long list of others, you aren’t alone. When pondering what to write on the topic, I found myself trying to come up with the reason I made it out the other side of legal hell to tell the tale. In the past few days of doing legal work, it became clear to me.
You can’t go from being the “Curator of the Impossible” to some schmuck slinging a reasonable amount of work of any kind that can actually all be done in a day, as a master of the mundane. You can’t go from making magic happen and saving attorneys’ lives (figuratively, most days) to being okay with hitting a punch clock at a “normal” job where you can actually set out to do all of the work that awaits you because it is actually possible. And you certainly can’t ride the rails of mediocrity. Not anymore. You can’t go from doing the best work you’ve ever done in your life—work that matters, filled with the inherent highest of highs and lowest of lows, to normal people stuff anymore—not once you’ve assailed the ranks and made it to the paralegal promise land. You just can’t. (Well, at least not until you’re ready to retire to that incredible beach villa in Hawaii—I’ll meet you there. Save me a seat.) If you stay, day after day, and live through all of those times you ever wanted to quit in your career, you become a rare breed of person. A special one, indeed. A type that all of those “regular” types of people can only attempt to understand.
“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast.”
~ Alice in Wonderland
And on certain days, I’ve actually done 6 impossible things before breakfast, too. That’s me—Curator of the Impossible—I mean, “paralegal”. Granted, I may have wanted to kill the esquire in my head 9 times while actually performing the impossible task, but either way, the impossible gets done (or as close as paralegal possible) and we both live to see another day. That feels good. Better than good. It’s about as close to omnipotent as a person can get while seated at the wooden helm at a desk job. And once you reach such a high level of functioning in your career, it’s pretty darn hard to downshift or expect anything less of yourself after that. You’re a goner. It becomes who you are.
I’ve sat in my office and cried alongside catastrophically injured clients or parents who held their beloved babies for the last time following a tragic accident. In those moments, there is no one else you would want helping you throughout the process. It’s me. I’m the lady for the job. No one will hit the line harder for you. No one. And that feels good. Really good.
On certain days, I make magic happen. I’ve stood victorious over things I wasn’t even sure I would be able to do. I’ve handed trial lawyers Post-It notes scribbled full of questions that slayed witnesses on the stand. I’ve helped to craft intricately woven case strategy to get us to a successful settlement or verdict, prepared witnesses for testimony I wasn’t sure they could nail (but did), and acted as a liaison for clients in the best way possible. Never have I felt more alive than in trial. Nothing beats the adrenaline rush that accompanies that. Nothing.
I have worked hard over the years (because the word “decades” makes me sound all old) to become the paralegal esquires pick first when they need a paralegal. Not just any paralegal—The best paralegal—their paralegal. I can’t even count how many possible and impossible tasks I’ve accomplished to make that happen. Time and time again. Day after day. I don’t quit. I stay and slay. Nothing will make you more proud than having an esquire pick you time and time again as his paralegal. “Yep, I choose…her.” Given the right esquire and the right paralegal duo, you may find yourselves picking each other time and time again, at different times, across multiple firms. My current esquire has chosen me to be his paralegal 3 times now, at 3 different firms. That feels like success. To have conquered enough impossible tasks that you can take control over your own legal destiny. You can pick your boss. You can pick your firm. You can pick your office furniture. And the reason you can pick all of them is simple: You never quit. Not once.
I am not a quitter.
I hope you aren’t one, too.
But if it’s too bad a firm, a horrible boss, or an ugly situation, there is no shame in quitting.
So today, when you find yourself seated at that large, wooden helm of paper pounding glory, pondering quitting one more time, just smile, shrug it off, make yet another tally mark on that poster board or wall (yes, you’ll need something that large), and stay and slay. Day after day. It’s what we do best. It’s who you are.
I just hit 1,248. (But who’s counting…)
_____
Can you relate? Hit that comment button and tell us about it!
Alright, TPSers – Here’s what we’re looking for: One social media share or like from every single paralegal out there who has EVER mentally contemplated quitting his or her day job. Yep. Every single one of them. Ready…go!
Wishing you a fabulous week within those glory-filled gates. The esquires await, as do the deadlines. We’ll see you soon.
Beth E Widisky said:
I clicked the button and I am so proud of myself for doing it! I have been blessed with a partner in crime the last couple of years here at my firm. She is a paralegal that doesn’t take s–t from anyone and is a special person that I can vent to. That has helped during the 700+ times I wanted to quit in just those 2 years (yes, almost once a day, every day). But I’ve stayed and I persevere and I enjoy every moment of making things happen and being the paralegal that keeps getting chosen by the esquire. Life is good – you just have to make it that way!!!
Jamie Collins said:
Hi Beth, Welcome to the anti-quitting team! I’m so happy to hear you have your own Paralegal Whisperer. I know what you mean. It goes a long way in maintaining one’s freak out factor for sure! Thanks for taking the time to click the button. 👠👏🏻
Bob Davidson said:
Oh, I definitely wanted to quit paralegal many times, especially in my last job. Much of it involved a constant, big load on my plate, constant deadlines and, of course, stress. But, for me, the stress was more from dealing with an anal, abrupt, demanding, sometimes caustic, intense, adversarial frequently micromanaging and, as time went on, ungrateful “esquire.”
There was a Tuesday, the day after Memorial Day, when that individual left me a note on my desk demanding that I obtain meds for a case by the next day or day after, or some ridiculous deadline. That SOB did not realize that I knew ALL ABOUT getting those records. I had ordered them beginning SIX WEEKS before that individual would need them. I was following up on them diligently, I was running into resistance from the provider’s office. I had even offered to give provider my own credit card to pay for any prepay. (We later found out that daughter of client told provider not to provide the records after “esquire” finally called.) That “esquire” never wanted to hear that I was having problems. All that individual cared about was the work being slapped on his desk. When I saw his note, I nearly blew a gasket and walked out, but I did not, because……
As a practical matter, I had responsibilities. To fulfill those responsibilities I needed the paycheck and health insurance. So, no, I did not walk out. Some things take precedence over personal feelings, burnout, bad situations and bad bosses.
Bob Davidson said:
I should add that “esquire’s” note was not the first time he had demanded those medical records. He actually had been badgering me for weeks about them. Again, I started ordering them weeks before individual would actually need them. Also the provider was out of state.
Jamie Collins said:
What? You mean medical records from out of state don’t just magically appear in 10 minutes?! 🙈 (Do not answer that. We gotcha.)
Jamie Collins said:
Sorry to hear that, Bob. I think it is often a lack of understanding of the time or task involved (on the part of the esquire) that can lead to these types of issues. It’s definitely not fun to deal with. I like how you went on the explain why you stayed: responsibility. Sometimes, the peeps we work for in legal drive us crazy, but we really do love the job. Other times, not so much, but we have bills to pay. Either way, an assessment is made.
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.
Bob Davidson said:
Thank you, Jamie. This episode was consistent with that individual’s personal style, if you will. I sometimes told him how I went about doing something and he would quickly and impatiently squelch me. He could not have cared less if I had traveled to Las Vegas to pick up those meds personally. He pulled the assignment from me and handed it to his other paralegal. LOL she failed as well. Then he finally called provider and complained he did not like how the office was treating him.
It is nonsense like this that alienates people and burns them out.
liz said:
How do you possibly tell anyone that you love your job today (27 years later!) as you did on the first day of the job and have them not look at you as though you have a unicorn horn! You nailed it! Thank you! (And I just got to pick out my new office furniture! )
Jamie Collins said:
Congrats on the new furniture, Liz! See…it’s like a prize for NOT killing people for the past 27 years! Ding, ding, ding. You earned it. Ha ha. In all seriousness, thanks for stopping by today. Enjoy the new digs!
Cindy said:
I so needed to read this today. Thank you Jamie!
Jamie Collins said:
You’re welcome, Cindy. Hang in there!
Elle said:
My last job ended up having a lot of changes which lead to me working with several very inexperienced know-it-alls (a few young attorneys and one person who barely started paralegal school). I am not a quitter and stuck it out for awhile, but I felt like the biggest outsider because the high work standard the firm always had was not the same with this younger group. I began to question my own desire to be in this profession. I luckily decided I needed to change environments to truly decide. It was the best decision ever because I am happy at a new firm and I can’t imagine being in any other profession.
Felicia Shai Holzman said:
I can relate to all of you and your pain! I have been a paralegal for many, many years and have dealt with it all! Still am. Some how I persevere too. Kudos to you Jamie for writing about it and giving advice to all, at all levels of experience. Right now I am dealing with all rushes…all of the time! “Esquires” wait until the last minute, always. I am trying to not get burnt out too quickly and learn how to remain calm, which even at my stage of the career it’s difficult. Stay strong! It’s what we do!
Best to all!
Jade said:
I love what I do. Yes, it can be stressful but I try to remember that I am helping someone recover for their loss. I truly love where I work but the esquire has gotten to the point in his career where he doesn’t care about his clients any longer. He doesn’t return calls, misses appointments, and I cannot tell you the last time he went through his “In Box”. This is the reason I have the thoughts of wanting to quit. Not the career but the firm. I have talked to his partner to express my concern because we have lost clients due to my esquire’s lack of interest. I have tried setting up times for the two of us to meet to go over our caseload but he always decides those are the times he will return phone calls or make calls while I’m sitting there attempting to talk to him. I’m getting or shall I say have gotten to the point of not caring either. What I mean is that I do MY job and do not go above and beyond anymore to do HIS job. I truly worry I will not have a job in the near future because of his lack of care and concern for the clients he has left or him being suspended because of a complaint against him. What is sad is that he had a great career and name for himself in our community when I took this position 11 years ago but is letting his reputation suffer horribly now. I understand getting “burned out” this late in his career but clients and his partner should not suffer because of his lack of “mojo”. I am fortunate to have my job and not have to commute to work for hours…I know this…but I fear for my future.