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By: Jamie Collins
I found myself on a call with an insurance adjuster the other day. Not an uncommon occurrence in my corner of the paralegal world, although I make a valiant effort to avoid antagonistic phone calls as much as possible. I can usually see when they’re headed my way. The kind of call that starts as normal, takes a hard left, and speeds into uncomfortable territory in a matter of zero to six seconds, flat.
Within seconds of being on this particular call, the adjuster became somewhat aggressive, began to spew an antagonistic version of case facts, and was attempting to walk me (the innocent, professional paralegal person in search of her sanity and next tall iced tea) off the edge of a talking cliff. Yes, a talking cliff. This is where an individual on the phone tries his or her best to get you to say things you should not say: about a client’s case, particular issue, history, set of facts, and the list goes on.
Having spent 16 years working in the legal profession, I quickly came to the realization that this scenario (i.e., the thwarting of case facts in the general direction of said competent paralegal – party of one) was occurring. I immediately let the adjuster know the conversation between she and I was coming to an end. Words carefully selected and uttered in a courteous and professional tone. I believe my exact wording was something along the lines of, “I believe this call is over my head and you are going to need to speak with [my supervising attorney] about this particular issue. He is more familiar with this particular case than I am. [Not entirely true, but it sounded good.] I will have him call you shortly.”
Click.
Down the phone receiver went.
And into the esquire’s office I went.
Thinking back to what it was like to field these types of calls in the earlier years of my paralegal career, I realized that verbally articulating one’s self away from the verbal cliff (a/k/a a professional trap in a phone medium), is a skilled art form. When done well, it is 100% effective.
But if a paralegal fails to recognize that she now finds herself driving in a convertible, top-down, scarf-covered hair blowing in the wind, SPF-15, big smile pasted across her face, about to drive over a cliff, well…she just might hit the gas pedal (open her big mouth, say a lot of words) and accelerate right on over it – the edge of the professional cliff. And who wants that?
Not me. Not you. Not anyone.
So after reflecting upon this fun little phone call and my past experience in dealing with this particular type of call (the personal grave digging kind), I felt compelled to share a few tips with our readers. Keep these tips in mind if you ever find yourself waving to Thelma and Louise, standing near a cliff’s edge in your corner of the work world.
No one can force you to speak. In other words, a person can ask you to answer the same question 12 times, in 6 different ways, become aggressive or verbally hostile or act as though you are a complete and total moron for not offering the information he wants or otherwise complying with his or her verbal requests for the information being sought, but this person absolutely CANNOT force you to speak. (Quite literally.) (Seriously, he can’t.) (It’s true.) Only you are in control of what comes out of your mouth.
And more importantly, what doesn’t.
Are you with me here? No words that could hurt you, your client or your attorney/firm shall exit your mouth.
Visualize the cliff. If you ever find yourself of a call with a pushy person – visualize the cliff – decide you are not going to drive off of it verbally, informationally or otherwise (no way, no how); navigate yourself away from that cliff’s edge by ending the call, routing the individual to someone better suited to handle that issue or call (an attorney or more experienced paralegal); or find your way out of the conversation in a polite fashion.
Remain professional. Be courteous. But don’t even think about hitting that gas pedal, my friend. Do not be verbally bullied. And above all else, don’t say ANYTHING you aren’t 100% comfortable saying to an individual (think: adjuster, client, opposing attorney, etc.), regardless of how aggressive or friendly he or she might be in an attempt to extricate information, details or legal advice from you. It’s not happening.
Remember, you are the sworn keeper of your own words. Again, you are in charge of what you do or do NOT say. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Period.
Immediately tell your attorney about the call. In the event you find yourself on the other end of a “cliff” call, be sure to tell your attorney about the general topic, gist of the conversation and the individual’s general tone and demeanor, so he or she can address or diffuse it accordingly.
Live to drive another day. Hopefully, en route to Starbucks, a gourmet cupcake shop, White House Black Market, your humble abode or an all-inclusive, Hawaiian beach vacation (minus the tropical storms). But either way, you’ll walk out the doors of that law firm knowing you handled that difficult phone call like a pro, with your head held high, professional integrity intact, your supervising attorney’s trust…
And your foot on the gas pedal, full throttle.
_____
We hope you enjoyed today’s post! Do you have any additional tips to add to the list? Hit that comment button and tell us about ’em.
(Be sure to wave goodbye to Thelma on your way out of the parking lot.)
The Paralegal Society™ 
Excellent!
Thank you! 🙂
Jamie, you have a wonderful talent for writing informational text in a way that feels like a private conversation, or even a bit like a stand-up comic. Love it. I have just finished my paralegal studies and am now interviewing. Your tips are spot-on. I will keep this as a handy reference in my “dealing with difficult people” file.
Great advice, Jamie!
Thanks, Rachel. Much appreciated.
You don’t need to hear it from me or anyone else, Jamie, but you handled that adjuster perfectly. I like how you wrote that nobody can force you to speak. Of course you wrote a memo to the file and the attorney.
One can handle difficult callers with greater confidence if you are sure the attorney has your back. Not having the attorney’s support can cause one to be more timid with certain callers. A terrible positiion to be in.
I appreciate your kind words, Bob.
***
While I’m on here, I should probably add some additional phrases for dealing with a few different types of difficult calls:
If a person is yelling or swearing at you, tell him something along the lines of:
“I understand you are frustrated. I understand why (if you do). But you yelling and swearing at me isn’t helping either one of us right now to… (insert whatever makes sense here) and resolve this issue.” (If he keeps going…) “Sir, if you cuss at me one more time, I will have no choice but to end this call.” If the caller swears at you again — hang up. Then immediately go report this exchange to your attorney. (I’ve only had this happen to me once in 16 years. Usually you can diffuse their anger. Just don’t keep apologizing over and over or they will keep ranting more and more. It’s similar to when you’re really angry about something and you could tell your best friend about it 20 times in a looping row. So can they, even if you aren’t their best friend. So acknowledge the rant verbally, maybe 2-3 times. Then sit in silence after that. The caller will eventually realize he is ranting and will stop (hopefully). It usually does works. Silence can be golden for diffusing anger.
With a normal difficult call, you can also ask: “Is it okay if I place you on hold, so I can pull the file?” (This also gives you time to approach another person in the office to seek guidance, if you are unsure or want to ask another paralegal/attorney how to handle it).
You can also simply tell the caller: “I will need to check on that and will call you back.”
If a client asks for something that is legal advice, “I’m sorry (insert name here), but what you are wanting to know is actually legal advice. As a paralegal, that isn’t something I’m able to answer for you, as I cannot give legal advice. That is something the attorney will need to answer for you. But I would be happy to have him call you….or will ask him about this and one of us will get back to you.”
These are my go-to lines. They will get you off of the phone call and AWAY from the cliff in a professional manner.
Great tips, Jamie! There is no reason for anyone in the office to tolerate swearing and foul language from anyone.
I recall at least one client using foul language with me during a phone call. While I will say most emphatically that I am no amateur when it comes to foul language, I would never tolerate it from a client. I won’t use it with a client, and no matter how angry a client may be, I won’t put up with it from him/her. While some attorneys have their paralegals’ backs more than others, I don’t believe any attorney will tolerate clients swearing at their paralegals.
I told the attorney about the client in question. Eventually an order issued approval our withdrawal from the case.
Solid advice Jamie. I wish I only had one caller use foul language while on the phone with me, but that is not the case. Perhaps it’s because I’m a man and the potty-mouth feels like it’s acceptable to swear to another man (all the cusser’s I’ve dealt with have been men).
My tactic for these verbally unimaginative boors, is to calmly tell them that at this office we don’t scream and cuss at each other, and under no circumstances do we tolerate it from our callers. If they continue with their tantrum, I advise them that if they continue I will end the conversation. The next step is vitally important for keeping my sanity and not driving over the cliff-HANG UP THE PHONE. Do not under any circumstances continue to be a victim of the bully. That’s exactly what they are, bullies.
I didn’t tolerated them when I was a child in school, and I most certainly do not under any circumstances tolerate them as an adult.
I am curious. By a show of hands:
(1) How many of us have had, or continue to have callers use abusive language and/or mind game tactics on the phone.
(2) What kind of law does your office primarily practice, as I believe the type of client or opposing counsel has a lot to do with the type caller we regularly deal with.
(3) Are you male or female.
Great tips Jamie! I can’t tell you how many of those tricks I’ve pulled out of my own bag over the years. When we finally meet (and it’s when not if) I have to share with you my firm’s brief association with a Legal “Insurance” Program (of course it wasn’t technically insurance, because that’s not kosher. But short story is we got literally 50-90 calls a day from folks who’d purchased “unlimited free legal advice” and handling those folks was well, SUPER fun TIMES. :no, no it really wasn’t:: Cheers to another GREAT column from a sharp (and funny) lady.
I have absolutely no problem shutting down abusive callers, be they clients, opposing counsel or whomever. I give them one warning and if they persist, I tell them I’m hanging up and I do. I don’t get paid enough to be bullied by anyone. If a client or attorney is particularly difficult and we have no choice but to deal with them, then my attorney and I have a conference call with that person so that each of us serves as a witness to the other (and it also gives us a chance to switch up in playing “good cop/bad cop”). Works like a charm!
I actually allowed a client to push me off the edge today and I caved in rather than stand my ground (in a professional way, of course). I was so busy reading medical records in another claim, that I allowed that distraction to take my focus from the call I answered in haste.
LESSON LEARNED. Thanks, for the reminder, Jamie!
Sharon
This is outstanding. “No one can force you to speak” is beautifully stated. I’ve been wondering, lately, why people think that being an adult bully in the workplace, in life, is ever okay. And we wonder why our children face this at school. When did it become okay to be rude and disrespectful? Responding to these calls is an art form, indeed, Jamie, and again, well said. Have you noticed many do not have the courage to put on this kind of display in person? It always seems to be via phone or email. Have a great week!
We just covered this topic in class. Thank you for the reinforcement! And the humor 😉
And “No one can force you to respond to an email” either. Sometimes the cliff may come in electronic form too. Excellent article Jamie!
Vintage Jamie Collins!! Excellent write. Great advice for us in the legal service profession.
Excellent advice and one I will take to heart, as a newbie, I am still trying to learn what I can and cannot (or should and should not) say to clients or opposing parties that call US for help (I can’t make this stuff up) so this is a great tool to visualize (me driving off a cliff) whenever the case applies. Thanks again for an informative and amusing article, Jamie!
Thank you Jamie for the excellent and useful information! I just started a new career exactly 32 days ago as a Legal Assistant and I have thought long and hard how to handle difficult calls and clients. Now, what do I do about transmittal letters……
Great article and good advice. I would add that in addition to speaking to your attorney about the call, you should also prepare a memo to the file outlining the key points of the conversation as well as the contentious issues. Keeping a record of the time and date of the call is also beneficial in case you need to refresh your memory.
I have only had one person (opposing counsel) swear at me like that. I told him I was hanging up and that his language was not tolerable. He called back later that day and apologized.
We handle real estate, divorce, estates, condo law, estate plans.
I am female.
I think that covers all the questions. a great article!
Difficult phone calls are still not my forte, but I am getting better at them. The minute/second the caller starts getting unruly or pressing for information I know is not within my scope, telling the caller I am putting them on hold “to consult an attorney to assist you” tends to de-escalate alot of situations.
I’ve only actually hung up on one caller who had gotten especially rude because I would not give him information about the current where abouts of a former coworker with the stock answer “I’m sorry, sir, but I do not know the answer to that question.” After the umpteenth try, the caller finally quipped, “Do you know anything?” “You’re absolutely right, sir. I do not.” Click.
My supervising overheard the last part of the conversation. “Did you just hang up on that caller?” “Yup.” When I recounted the entire conversation, it was a source of humor for the next couple days…
I did have the presence of mind to jot down the phone number, and when he did call back the next week, he was A LOT nicer…
Having worked in hotel reservations for quite a few years & plenty of customer service experience, I have dealt with many a unruly caller. I had my 1st today at this position & kept my cool. The person hung up before I got my answer out. I didn’t let it bother me, it was their bad day & I didn’t let it affect mine.