(You better believe it.)

I know, I know, I promised you a Monday blog post following our latest paralegal humor post. I meant it when I said it.  Then what happened? Indiana, Ohio, and other states (more specifically, Indianapolis – my stomping ground) entered the land of arctic ice caps and polar bears. I tell no lies, people. They were spotted roaming across the frozen Hoosier tundra. Flights were grounded. Roads were closed. We received about 12-14 inches of snow within a 24 hour period.

Snow Flakes

Now, for you peeps living in the really “cold” states, I do understand this may not seem like all that big of a deal. The majority of my family is from Michigan and Wisconsin, so I’m with you. But here in Indiana, our snow crews are completely unequipped to deal with this type of thing (or manage even 2-3 inches of snow clearing, for that matter), leaving one’s roadways appearing a whole lot less like “roadways” and a whole lot more like one of those Alaskan wilderness shows where people roam the land for food, namely, rabbits and deer, and burn wood in wood-burning stoves in tiny wooden homes to remain alive. (The crazy people – you know the ones).

The HIGH today is around -12 with a wind chill of -40, making this our coldest day in DECADES. It is a full-on snowpacolypse. They are saying you will get frostbite if your skin is exposed to the elements for 5 minutes here in Indy-Alaska. (Yes, five).

Now, as for this whole “promised” blog post thing, it really doesn’t help when the power to a certain blogging someone’s home goes out early Sunday evening…and 12 hours later, you find yourself under 3 blankets in bed (which was quickly beginning to feel like a crypt), freezing half-to-death in what had become a makeshift igloo, deplete of heat. Around 4:30 a.m., a certain blogging someone decides that she and the fam should really pack up (in the cold darkness stumbling from room-to-room via a blanket wrap and tiny flashlight accompaniment) to pack the family’s bags under the self-preserving, personal declaration that you must immediately deliver yourself to Hotel de Grandpa Ron’s house because if you don’t, you might become hypothermic and die. Just saying.

I am being dramatic.

Slightly.

Upon entering the Alaskan roadway, we hear that there is a snow emergency declared on the roads, meaning you can only be on them if it’s an emergency or you are seeking shelter. News to us (the non-power havers), but certainly not a surprise. Too bad. We are totally going. The choice had been made and we weren’t returning to the igloo and possibility of a human popsicled death. No way.

You can chalk us up under prong #2. We are driving. (With Clif bars, bottled water, bundled in layers and snow boots – I in my pajamas and he in his ski-cap), about as packed and prepared as we could be via the service of an elite, packing-in-the-darkness-while-cloaked-in-illness ninja. We tried to access one interstate and knew we’d get stuck, even in a 4-wheel drive SUV, so we turned around and found a different way that was actually passable. We arrived at the bright hour of 6:30 this morning to eggs and bacon at Hotel de Grandpa Ron’s house. After thawing out, I tell my dad I love his hotel and hospitality. (I meant EVERY word). He responded, “Only until you see the bill for ’emergency’ lodging and extra toast at the end of your stay.” ha ha.

If you missed the past post where I shared that I have been cloaked in cooties and suffering from a nasty, soul-sucking illness for 3 treacherous days that kept me off work for 2, PRIOR to the arrival of the grand snowpacolypse, I did also awaken in that hellish igloo with a piercing earache, to boot. Sickness + No Heat = Helloooo, my paralegal friends. Good thing I am a paralegal who can roll through unpredictable scenarios, cloaked in a blanket, bearing a tiny flashlight, in PJ’s and snow boots, with no clue how, but swearing I will make it out of the other side alive. You better believe it.

It has been a CRAZY 24 hours, to say the least. So when you find yourself wondering why there is no Monday blog post when one was promised, there you go.

I am done whining now.

And it looks like I did manage that blog post after all.

Oh the weather outside is frightful, and I’m feeling [not] so delightful. But as long as [y’all ] still love me so… Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

We’ll see you on Friday, notwithstanding an impending sharknado.

Till then, stay warm, stay safe, stay sane.