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By: Lindsay Valek (Guest Blogger)
You now how people often tell you they have good news and bad news, and then they ask you what you’d like to hear first? Well, today, we’re pleased to report that we have good news…and more good news! For starters, it’s T minus 8 hours until the weekend! Secondly, Lindsay is here to share that fabulous post I told you about a few weeks ago – the one I called “memorable!” So sip that soul soothing beverage, make a mental note to maintain your sanity, and bask in glory of the approaching weekend, as you walk yet another day through the fun, but oh so crazy, paper and esquire-filled, legal gauntlet in hot pursuit of a task…or twenty!
Here’s Lindsay…
Reprinted with permission from KNOW: The Paralegal Magazine: www.paralegalknowledge.com.
Ten years ago, my favorite southern belle, Shelby (a/k/a Julia Roberts), lit up the big screen portraying a woman that I, for one, had never heard of. As a result of her performance, everyone in America got a taste for the paralegal profession’s sexy, mysterious, and seemingly thrilling job description. The year was 2000 and Erin Brockovich had stolen our hearts.
Hollywood had created an illusion of intrigue, suspense, passion and the notorious tug of war wherein good triumphs over evil, the big company crumbles, children are saved, the mother dies to protect them, and Erin Brockovich gets a big fat check. Sitting in my first “Introduction to Paralegal Studies” course at the local community college, I just knew that I, too, would soon be sneaking into secret file rooms to discover smoking gun documents for which my boss (and the entire town) would be forever in my debt.
And then I got a gig as a Paralegal.
Within two hours of being on the job, my fantasies were viciously ripped to shreds. I spent my first morning learning how to create a WordPerfect macro to print Bates labels and my afternoon two-hole punching correspondence. Somehow, I didn’t think I’d be getting an Oscar nod anytime soon. What happened to my grand ideas for saving the innocent and sticking it to the man? After a few weeks in, I was seriously considering demanding the community college refund me for that Tort Law course which I obviously would not be using anytime in the near future.
Over the course of my career as a paralegal, I have learned many things:
I’ve learned that original stock certificates are priceless and that attorneys’ handwriting mimics that of some of the most notorious serial killers to date.
I’ve learned that the most important thing I can do in my job is to keep 712,423 documents organized, indexed and housed in one file room and that I should never, under ANY circumstances, count a federal holiday while calendaring responses to Requests to Admit.
I’ve earned an honorary certification as a copy repairman and have recently considered submitting my application for a stunt artist as I have mastered the art of delicately balancing 7 boxes, 2 laptops, and a cup of coffee on one dolly while wearing heels.
I’ve learned that this job is not always pretty.
At some point, you will find yourself in a situation like I was once in: Outside a courthouse on a cold, January morning, unpacking a Tahoe filled with bankers boxes, briefcases, a projector, and a portable screen, left alone to lug it all inside and through security as your bosses hurry into the building bundled warmly in their wool coats.
You will swallow your pride and call a clerk’s office three times to ask the same question, three different ways and, yes, the clerk will speak to you as though you’re a moron.
You will fetch everything from coffee to dry cleaning to your boss’s wife’s dog from the parlor, and you will get to experience what it’s like to not eat lunch for 4 days straight.
You will make mistakes and hold back tears as you tell your boss that you accidentally filed a complaint without the exhibits attached.
All of these things WILL happen ~ and then some. Sounding too good for you yet? Fear not, as while you’re busy perfecting of all of these seemingly un-glamorous jobs, you will also become a mind reader, a computer genius, a forward thinker, a confidant, a source of information, a point person, and the most organized human being on the planet. You may not realize you’re becoming these things until it smacks you right in the face but trust me when I tell you, you will begin to change.
Working in the trenches as a paralegal will not just get your hands dirty, but will expose you to worlds that you never imagined being immersed in. You will no longer be just a paralegal. You will become an expert on oil companies, timber cutting, land development at the shopping mall, the inner workings of a bank, and what happens to a child’s skin when a cigarette lighter’s safety device is installed improperly.
There will be times when you will wish that you did not know certain things ~ like how many times your insurance agent emailed his mistress or that when Social Services took your client’s child, she was drunk as a skunk, had cocaine in her purse and a toddler in the front seat of her car.
I once had someone tell me that some of my articles weren’t particularly “pleasant,” which highly offended me because A) I’m southern and B) my mother happened to raise my brothers and I a wee bit on the sensitive side (just ask our significant others). Feeling a little pessimistic, I perused the comments I’ve received in recent months and it got me thinking: Some of my articles aren’t pleasant but by God, they’re real and from the looks of things, every paralegal, legal assistant and legal secretary from Illinois to Florida to Arizona has either thought or felt the EXACT same way.
Welcome to the paralegal profession. This gig isn’t as glamorous as many (ahem….my mother) likes to imagine but with the right background music, the payoff is something straight out of a movie. As the theme song crescendos, I sit perched at my desk, 31 years old, single, childless and oftentimes wondering where my life is going and how this journey is going to turn. And then, I realize that I’m living it right now. The fantasy? There’s no glamour. The reality?
Wouldn’t change a thing.
Lindsay Valek is a Litigation Technology Specialist for the McNair Law Firm, in Columbia, South Carolina. She can be reached at lindsayvalek@hotmail.com.
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You know what Lindsay – I wouldn’t either! What about you TPS readers? No glamour…you still into it? How relatable is this piece?! Feel free to hit that comment button to profess your thoughts about the glorious (and challenging) paralegal profession.
Wishing all of TPS Nation an absolutely fantastic weekend that is totally and completely free of stress…and esquires! We’ll see you soon.
I’m not in it just yet, but I think I’m ready for it! I appreciate you laying down the nitty gritty… No need to glamorize. Thanks for keepin’ it real!
I always so enjoy reading these types of stories while I sit here nodding my head TOTALLY relating. And then I think of all the paralegals who have left my firm because they’re going to find a place where you are not treated poorly and I think to myself – grass is the same color on the other side of the fence as it is on this side of the fence. You go to another civil litigation law firm, you’re going to have the same issues. But like you, I wouldn’t trade this job for anything. I try to think of another job I might want to do and there truly is nothing!
What I liked most about this post is (1) it’s written in a great tone that is very memorable; (2) the content is highly relatable; and (2) Lindsay does a great job of portraying both sides of the love-hate relationship we sometimes experience with our paralegal careers. Granted, I think most people in the profession would readily attest that they love what they do, yet, there are those days when you find yourself smack dab in the middle of a love-hate relationship. You know, those really fun days where stress is looming thick overhead, oxygen is scarce, esquires are flying down the hallways and in and out of your office, papers are piling up on Mount Saint Papermore a/k/a your desk, and that unforgiving deadline clock is very quickly tick, tick, ticking away, right along with some portion of your sanity? Those kind! I absolutely love my job, yet, those crazy days do make you realize that it can, at times, be a bit of a love-hate relationship. Love this. Hate that. Like Lindsay, I wouldn’t trade it for a thing. (Glad to see others feel that way, too!)
Thanks for your comments, Kimberly and Beverly. It’s great to see you around TPS!
I can absolutely relate. As a matter of fact, I giggled out loud when I read the “filed a complaint without the exhibits attached” part. I did exactly that on Friday, by mail (5(F)(3) for my fellow Hoosiers), realized it on Monday, and promptly had a short panic attack. I called the court, told them what happened, and got the clerk to agree to let me mail her the exhibits and have her attach them to the complaint. Then, told the attorney: 1) This is what I did and 2) This is what I did to fix it. Problems presented with a solution at the same time are lessened incredibly. 🙂
I loved the post. Thanks for writing this, Lindsay! And, thanks for posting it, Jamie!
I love this article! It reminds me of why I decided to become a paralegal in the first place. It’s not always glamorous but it certainly can be rewarding.
Thank you, Lindsay for your artistic way of painting the daily picture that we live as paralegals. I’m in the middle of changes in my life having moved closer to aging parents and I can’t think of a single other profession that I would want to be in even if I was qualified to do anything else. My sister is in banking, and her job on a day-to-day basis is no different than ours as paralegals. Everyone in other professions has deadlines, battles with the copier, tussles as the office techy, and be the “stunt artist”. I think Hollywood makes every profession in the movies seem more glamorous. Thank you, Jamie for posting and sharing this article.
Once again a timely blog. Friday I was feeling this a hundred times over. It was good to be brought back to earth .
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Great post, I too saw Erin Brockovich and wanted to contribute to society the way she did, but soon realized that being a Paralegal is just a lot of hard work. The up side is that I get a chance to make a difference in people’s live (never got that chance when I was a Executive Assistant).
I have had many clients tell me that even though they were going though the most difficult time in their lives (lost of a parent or a spouse, who had a trust with our firm), I made it just a little bit better, not great (there is no great when you do death administrations).
Faye
Absolutely love this post because I felt the same exact thing during my first year as a paralegal. Almost dialed my school to say exactly why did I pay for those legal research and brief writing classes!! Then, gradually, things happened when years went by. Attorneys count on you for everything! I also remember when I was trying to impress my supervising attorney by highlighting the pertinent facts on the deposition Exhibits and realize that original exhibits don’t get highlights. Even got the “F***” word out of my attorney. Making a list of NOT TO DO LIST got longer and longer and painful. However, this made a heck of a paralegal out of you in the end! Thank you very much Lindsey for sharing this experience and once again thank you very much Jamie for posting this!!! You guys are the rock stars of the paralegal world.
Love it, Lindsay, thank you! This career is a little like a marriage… for better or for worse, and I wouldn’t change a thing either.
The funny part is that I already was a paralegal when the movie came out and we had just gotten a huge verdict from a med mal case. So I went to the attorney on the case asked where was my cut of the fee like Erin got. He looked absolutely petrified!!!
Well said, Ms. Lindsay and posters.
Piles of paper, a backlog of work to complete, endless demands, I wouldn’t have traded the opportunity to be a paralegal. I still love it after 13 years as a paralegal, and 14 as legal secretary.
Very well said! As a paralegal, you find yourself doing all kinds of things that you had no idea you were capable of. Thanks for capturing it so perfectly.